The Big One

This event was supposed to be one of the best and most elegant of the year. "How did this happen?" I thought to myself as they briefly dropped me from the top of the crowd to the floor. The guest-list had been turned upside down, the food somehow turned into cat litter, and the dancing competition ended up with underage girls pole dancing atop of my ruined tables! While sobbing and lifting myself to my feet, I asked myself, "How could this night get any worse?!" Just then, someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around, and standing in front of me was a police officer! "Yes, I am saved!" I thought to myself.
He took his sunglasses off, "Sir, are you the owner?"
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