Lies my teacher told me
At some point during the lengthy, drug-induced coma that I sometimes refer to as "my high school years," I briefly regained consciousness and found myself eye-to-eye with what appeared to be a three-headed, English teaching dwarf. Before I could fall back into my customary stupor I realized that this evil shrieking dwarf would say anything to trick me into wasting what was left of my mind with books and reading and other school related stuff. Although I managed to fend hem off, the sheer terror of the experience stayed with me even until now. …
