Here it is at last, just what we've all been waiting for! Modern science proves everything you have always wanted: resurrection after death, eternal life, and idyllic sex forever! The abstruse topics of quantum cosmology and computer complexity theory prove it all true: "If any reader has lost a loved one or is afraid of death, modern physics says: 'be comforted, you and they shall live again"! Not only that, but you no longer have to take on faith that God exists and loves you - it can be proved by science! Hallelujah!
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