The obscene caller customarily makes his appearance after midnight and is usually performing a solo activity his mother cautioned would cause blindness. He probably thinks he's cute and ingenious, but I guarantee he hasn't fielded as many obscene calls as the night shift telephone representative. Regular customers include the Pump Man who, in a breathy whisper, craves to know what color pumps his phone agent is wearing; the Porn Star who illustriously narrates his latest movie in perverse detail; and a host of unsavory characters with offensive vocabulary. Although the company discourages reservations agents from engaging this type of call, some obscene callers leave themselves wide open to retaliation. After answering the phone in the usual way, my most memorable call continued this way: Male caller: My (male appendage) is stuck in a Coke bottle. Me: Really? Do you have any idea how small the neck of a Coke bottle is? Now, if you had said it was stuck in a milk carton, I'd be impressed. The caller hung up.…
