In some ways, all men (and a few actresses) want to be Hamlet. He is intelligent and funny, he knows how to value true friendship (Horatio), how to tease sycophantic phonies (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern), how to treat pompous political authority (Polonius). Yet there are problems. He is glib and unconvincing in his fifth-act apology to Laertes and both confused and cruel in all of his encounters with women. My reasons for not wanting to be Hamlet, however, turn out to be theological.
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